Not Safe For Work, And Probably Not Safe For Home, Either

I have no shame.

The U of L cheerleader pics.

I'd h/t, but I doubt he'd want the credit.

I Guess They're Right: Porn Really Is Ruining Sex For The Average Couple

Okay, I thought long and hard about posting this (like, a good five minutes), and I've decided to break my no-porn rule once. Once.

But over here, in this dumping-ground blog about which I have nothing to do.

The link I'm about to provide is safe for work, but what it links is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK AT ALL. The links will take you to real hardcore porn of chicks having sex with dinosaurs. I repeat: it's genuine hardcore. True, it's hardcore with a big fake green Horny the Dinosaur phallus, but still, actual porn.

Just stupid porn.

Is it funny? I don't know if it's funny enough to justify breaking my rule. It's vaguely funny in that very stupid porn-humor way. It's kind of funny to see a chick giving head to a trio of pteradactyls, but... I don't know.

Warned enough? You probably shouldn't click on this.

I'm really having trouble motivating myself to link this.

Anyway: This link? Just takes you to a page of links. Some are funny, and not unduly unsafe for work. Others are in a questionable area. Like a link to a pamphlet containing translations of black slang to Japanese. Including "Once you go black, you never go back." Not sure why a Japanese man would want to advertise the sexual dynamism of blacks, but I long ago gave up trying to understand Japanese sex-culture.

The first post is the one with the links to the Dinosaur Porn. First link, last link. Somewhere in the middle there's a picture of dinosaurs having unlikely four-way sex too. But it's the first and last link that bring you to the hot dinosaur-on-woman action.

You've been warned. Don't blame me.

Also Weird: Something Awful reviews "Porn of the Dead," which mixes a low-budget zombie movie with a low-budget porn movie and fails to achieve the production values of either.

Pussycat dolls

http://www.impactlab.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=7575

Okay... Here's that deleted post, hidden over here like a bastard retard

I've always been skittish about reposting any of the following here. I thought it was a funny, if ludicrously over-the-top, slam on Scandanavians. I thought I could get away with use of N-word, because I clearly wasn't using it to refer to blacks.

I was "recontextualizing" it.

I really felt strange and on dangerous ground in using the word, but I justified it according to my first principle, You Can't Fight The Funny.

And, of course, one couldn't make proper fun of Europeans without accusing all of their men of being homosexuals to one degree or another.

At any rate, this screed resulted because we had several Norwegian and Danish and whatever posters who were always offering the Northern European view on American foreign policy, as if anyone gave a shit. The final insult came when they began posting flags of their useless countries in a thread about the war.

So, I decided to ban all further references to any of these countries in the thread.

Remember-- this was all over-the-top, shock-value joking with people I had long known and (sort of) liked. Still, I thought it was funny then, and I think it's funny now... although it's on the edge of being, well, offensive.

Guys,

Enough with the faggity flags of meaningless scandanavian duchies, okay?

...

In fact, no further mention of Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Finland, Sweden, or, fuck it, the Netherlands or Belgium, will be tolerated here.

If one of these countries is important in the news -- Ha, ha, hah, hah, hah, hypothetically I mean -- refer to the country vaguely like they refer to colleges in Penthouse Letters, i.e., "a small meaningless ice-bound country with a high suidice rate" or "a meaningless, no-account frostberg populated entirely by blonde Aryan Viking-Nazi communist homosexual Ice Niggers."

...

And when did all of these (ha, hah) "Vikings" all decide to go bi?

All these latter-day Northern European men are just one and a half tabs of ecstasy from giving a blowjob to their Barcelonan flatmate/DJ/drug-pusher.

These fucking countries... Christ, characters in a Brett Easton Ellis gay porn novel laugh at these European "men."

...

The whole continent of Europe has decided to "experiment" with a bit of homosexuality. Every banker, teamster, waiter, policeman, politician you see in Europe-- each of them has had another guy's finger up his ass, if not in the recent past, then at least during a university meth party.

What the fuck is that? When did the men of an entire fucking continent think to themselves, "You know what I wouldn't mind a bit of right now? Cock."

EDIT: Oh, I'm sorry. They would have said, "You know what I'd fancy right now? Cock."

Fancy.

Kind of gives the fucking game away, don't it now?

...

I'd fancy it if all of these blonde Viking-Nazi polymorphously perverse Aryan Ice Niggers would just build themselves a giant wooden shoe boat and sail it to the fucking North Pole.


There they could happily spend the rest of their useless lives putting on raves featuring bad Frankfurtian techno-pop and really bad Oslovian rappers and pop X pills and perform gay analingus on Santa's elves while collecting outrageous welfare benefits.

...

"Hey, Horst, wouldst du liken to climben die Matterhorn mit me?"

-- "Ach, du lieber, you betten your arsen I would Horst. But first, let us inject some crystal meth directly into each other's colons and then produce a really bad ironic-disco house E.P. together."

..................

Man, I still think that's funny -- if you take it in the right way -- but I hope that no one gets too offended by it.

Shock value, guys. There's a special exception for going clearly over-the-top.

Or at least I think and hope there is.

Or let me offer this defense: Like Ice-T and Eminem, I was "just playing a character."